My Cup of Tea

that i was a beautiful butterfly that did not yet come out of its cocoon, and this tiny shell of mismatched teeth and acne scars would make way for something glorious.

i once told me that i was nothing but dirt and gravel, worse than what people walk all over and too insignificant for something great to be planted in.

i once told me that i would do anything to be loved, no matter how far i would have to run or high i would have to jump or even if you asked me to eat five hundred eighty avocados despite me being allergic, i would have merely asked for a spoon and some salt.

i once told me that i was going to walk the hallways of harvard or princeton or yale and people would whisper, her, that’s her… she is an absolute genius AND has a personality that mirrors the sun.

i once told me that i would never be one to break hearts or have my heart broken, that my dreams were as tangible as the pillows on my bed and my heart as strong as brick on brick on brick on brick.

i once told me that i was more weak than my favorite rag-doll, you know the one.. with the rip in her side and the stuffing tumbling from her head like a cotton candy cloud.

i told me those things because they were true. they were true in my mind and they had already happened in my soul. i am quite tired now. my body cannot keep up with the lifestyle that my mind leads, in and out of what i once told me.

i think i will stick to the solid ground and the blue sky and tell myself no more but only allow myself to feel.